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Complications with the opposite sex in LL | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : General discussion |  | |
| leosmith Senior Member United States Joined 6362 days ago 2365 posts - 3804 votes  Speaks: English* Studies: Tagalog | Message 41 of 50 25 October 2011 at 6:28pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||
Sorry for not catching this from your earlier posts. You are in a situation I haven't been in for a long time, so please ignore what I said. 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||||||||
| Arekkusu Hexaglot Senior Member Canada bit.ly/qc_10_lec Joined 5193 days ago 3971 posts - 7747 votes Speaks: English, French*, GermanC1, Spanish, Japanese, Esperanto Studies: Italian, Norwegian, Mandarin, Romanian, Estonian | Message 42 of 50 25 October 2011 at 6:30pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||
I'm afraid that will simply be impossible ;) 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||||||||
| Solfrid Cristin Heptaglot Winner TAC 2011 & 2012 Senior Member Norway Joined 5146 days ago 4143 posts - 8864 votes Speaks: Norwegian*, Spanish, Swedish, French, English, German, Italian Studies: Russian | Message 43 of 50 26 October 2011 at 12:06am | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||
Again, this is related to age. Young women are worried that they'll get into trouble, and have to be extra cautious. Through HTLAL I had a Russian/Spanish e-mail exchange right after I started up here. We exchanged some great e-mails, but I got a tad surprised when he started adressing me as "my dearest Cristina", and "my darling". Now had this been 30 years ago, I would have stopped writing immediately. However since we were both married, he was 15 years younger than me and he lived at the other side of the planet, I did not feel particularly worried that this would get out of hand. It just died out naturally after a while, but it worked well for a long time. Besides, I am at the age when you start being totally invisible to men, so you had better just appreciate compliments or terms of endearments whenever they appear :-) Young women have so much more to look out for, that it is understandable that they are extra careful. I am not quite sure what advice to give to the men who have problems finding a female language partner, but emphasizing your motivation and dedication to the language learning, as mentioned previously sounds like the best idea. If it is at all possible to slip in a mentioning of a wife or girlfriend that usually helps too, though I do not have a fool proof way of wording that in an ad. "Since my wife speaks the same language as I do I need a language partner for language xxx"? I guess it is feasible, but it would look quaint. I have been thinking about why I do not like the idea of saying that you are not interested in a relationship. I think my main objection is that this would entail that if you did not make such a statement, you would be considered fair game, and I am not sure that would convince more girls to do it. I do find that Arekkusus's wording is good. However, as my Dutch experience showed me,that does not necessarily help... Oh, and at the risk of sounding like the dumb blonde, what on earth does it meant "to have a chip"? Edited by Solfrid Cristin on 26 October 2011 at 12:10am 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||||||||
| mrwarper Diglot Winner TAC 2012 Senior Member Spain forum_posts.asp?TID=Registered users can see my Skype Name Joined 5038 days ago 1493 posts - 2500 votes Speaks: Spanish*, EnglishC2 Studies: German, Russian, Japanese | Message 44 of 50 26 October 2011 at 12:59am | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||
I've addressed you like that in the past. I hope you didn't think I was trying anything dubious...
Oh, it must have been that then :)
And rightfully so, of course. Problems usually arise only when measures and countermeasures get out of hand, as some people have experienced, and sometimes the wrong people pay for others' sins.
Exactly. Either that, or get a male LP and doff all your problems altogether.
I think it's perfectly acceptable, as long as you don't say it while firing a shotgun or something...
It probably meant to have a set/rigid behavior metaphorically governed by some kind of mechanism (the chip) that can be turned on and off (or perhaps that CAN'T be turned on/off :) Just like that Simpsons' Krusty the Klown doll that had a switch labeled 'good/evil'... Edited by mrwarper on 26 October 2011 at 1:02am 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||||||||
| Solfrid Cristin Heptaglot Winner TAC 2011 & 2012 Senior Member Norway Joined 5146 days ago 4143 posts - 8864 votes Speaks: Norwegian*, Spanish, Swedish, French, English, German, Italian Studies: Russian | Message 45 of 50 26 October 2011 at 1:22am | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||
I think I would have noticed if you had called me "darling". My dearest is quite ok. :-)Besides, it is different saying something once in an open thread, than repeatedly in a private e-mail exchange. Edited by Solfrid Cristin on 26 October 2011 at 1:26am 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||||||||
| wv girl Diglot Senior Member United States Joined 5051 days ago 174 posts - 330 votes Speaks: English*, French Studies: Spanish | Message 46 of 50 26 October 2011 at 2:17am | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||
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"To have a chip" means to be prejudiced against someone, based on past experience with others. Maybe the girl
in question had repeated unpleasant encounters with men in general ... therefore, she "has a chip on her shoulder" toward a friendly language partner. He must be like all the rest, that scoundrel! I have generally been lucky with language partners. My French tutor was a woman in her 70s who became like my grandmother. We did, in fact, develop a very close relationship, although it wasn't along the romantic lines that this thread is addressing. I've also been fortunate to have had gay men who wanted to practice. No unwanted sexual tension there! Once I was conversational in French, I pretty much turned down any offers to tutor men. There generally seemed to be a flirty aspect about requests for "French lessons." I didn't really perceive a strong desire to learn the language. When I was younger, however, I admit that I shied away from men as language partners. My one brief exchange recently with "chatting" online to practice Spanish started with the man telling me that I was very pretty, even though I was 45 years old! Two things threw me ... 1) I was completely unaware that he could see me. God, what had I clicked on? I thought we were just typing! 2) Attractive, really? I was kind of hung over from the previous might's wedding reception. Although as Solfrid mentioned, I too am getting to that age where I should appreciate any positive attention. In any case, it totally freaked me out & I politely discontinued our conversation. I never returned to the site. I think I'll just practice with the waitress at my favorite Mexican restaurant ... we can talk about our kids, the weather, etc. All safe stuff ... 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||||||||
| leosmith Senior Member United States Joined 6362 days ago 2365 posts - 3804 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Tagalog | Message 47 of 50 26 October 2011 at 8:05am | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||
I've heard the terms "to have a chip on one's shoulder" and "to cross over the line" are closely related, although it could be an urban legend. In olden times, if you wanted to fight about something, you could put a chip (I assume wood) on your shoulder, and dare someone to knock it off. Similarly, you could draw a line in the sand and dare someone to cross it. If the other person knocked off the chip in the first case, or crossed the line in the 2nd case, blows would be exchanged. The expression "to have a chip on one's shoulder" has evolved since then, at least in my circles. It's similar to the expression "to have baggage". 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||||||||
| mrwarper Diglot Winner TAC 2012 Senior Member Spain forum_posts.asp?TID=Registered users can see my Skype Name Joined 5038 days ago 1493 posts - 2500 votes Speaks: Spanish*, EnglishC2 Studies: German, Russian, Japanese | Message 48 of 50 26 October 2011 at 1:30pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||
Interesting; I had heard "somobody carries / put a chip on his shoulder" (exactly -- a chip resting on one shoulder, daring anyone to knock it off) but never "have a chip on their shoulders" or "man/woman with a chip", meaning the same thing, let alone "talking / giving speechs" about such things -- it was always kind of the most straight thing: you knock it off, I make you a new face :) BTW I've seen that very same scene be enacted in countless tales, movies and such; I don't think it's exclusively an 'olden days' thing. Edited by mrwarper on 26 October 2011 at 1:35pm 1 person has voted this message useful |
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