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Complications with the opposite sex in LL | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : General discussion |  | |
| Solfrid Cristin Heptaglot Winner TAC 2011 & 2012 Senior Member Norway Joined 5146 days ago 4143 posts - 8864 votes  Speaks: Norwegian*, Spanish, Swedish, French, English, German, Italian Studies: Russian | Message 17 of 50 19 October 2011 at 6:52pm | IP Logged | ||||||||
It is a good thought, but the thing is that that would entail that you take a non changable stand in beforehand: Yes, I want a relationship with whoever happens to become my language partner, or no, there is no way that I will become involved with my next language partner, even if he happens to be the man of my dreams. Plus, I think most girls would be uncomfortable at starting a language exchange with: Oh, and by the way, I do not want a relationship with you. In my experience your position depends 100% on who you meet, and it can change before you know it. I have twice been in a language exchange situation, once with a German and once with an Italian. Both times I had no intention whatsoever of getting romantically involved, and was not even remotely attracted to them when I first met them based on physical appearence only. The thing is that people tend to grow on you once you get to know them. I almost ended up married to one of them, and if it had not been for the fact that we were both very shy, the other one might have been just as likely a candidate as things turned out. Life tends to be complicated, and the only solution as far as I am concerned is to be nice to everyone, but modify your behavior the moment you see that you are misinterpreted - and that is an advice which goes for both genders. 2 persons have voted this message useful | |||||||||
| mrwarper Diglot Winner TAC 2012 Senior Member Spain forum_posts.asp?TID=Registered users can see my Skype Name Joined 5038 days ago 1493 posts - 2500 votes Speaks: Spanish*, EnglishC2 Studies: German, Russian, Japanese | Message 18 of 50 19 October 2011 at 7:09pm | IP Logged | ||||||||
I'm curious about what you mean exactly... I would agree with you as long as 'modifying your behavior' doesn't imply to stop being nice. If you're misinterpreted why not just clarify while still being nice? Unless violent behavior arises, being not nice or plain uncivil always plays against you as much as it plays against others. People could call you names, and I'd say they'd be right. Edited by mrwarper on 19 October 2011 at 7:10pm 1 person has voted this message useful | |||||||||
| Solfrid Cristin Heptaglot Winner TAC 2011 & 2012 Senior Member Norway Joined 5146 days ago 4143 posts - 8864 votes Speaks: Norwegian*, Spanish, Swedish, French, English, German, Italian Studies: Russian | Message 19 of 50 19 October 2011 at 7:25pm | IP Logged | ||||||||
I do not often quote myself, but I found it appropriate to do so now. What were the names you thought I merited? 1 person has voted this message useful | |||||||||
| mrwarper Diglot Winner TAC 2012 Senior Member Spain forum_posts.asp?TID=Registered users can see my Skype Name Joined 5038 days ago 1493 posts - 2500 votes Speaks: Spanish*, EnglishC2 Studies: German, Russian, Japanese | Message 20 of 50 19 October 2011 at 8:23pm | IP Logged | ||||||||
And rightfully so. Question answered :)
I hope you didn't take personally, because I didn't mean "you, Solfrid Cristin" but "you" in the sense of any person who stops being nice (my interpretation, the one I asked clarification for) just because someone misinterpreted his/her being nice. I've been called names for that, and it wasn't entirely unjustified. It's been long since I always try to keep a distance for a long time when I meet anyone new. I'm often dubbed overly formal, distant, and even hostile sometimes, but I think there's always time to get closer to those who are really worth the effort. Interestingly enough, sometimes it seems you only get one kind of name calling replaced with another :) wrt to actual name calling... don't we have enough ideas already? ;) 1 person has voted this message useful | |||||||||
| patuco Diglot Moderator Gibraltar Joined 6827 days ago 3795 posts - 4268 votes Speaks: Spanish, English* Personal Language Map | Message 21 of 50 22 October 2011 at 12:09am | IP Logged | ||||||||
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Reading through this thread makes me glad that I can rarely be bothered to talk to other people in their native languages, especially women.
That's the best thing about a book: it doesn't think that you're trying to get frisky just because you hold it and caress it's spine :) 7 persons have voted this message useful | |||||||||
| Bao Diglot Senior Member Germany tinyurl.com/pe4kqe5 Joined 5578 days ago 2256 posts - 4046 votes Speaks: German*, English Studies: French, Spanish, Japanese, Mandarin | Message 22 of 50 22 October 2011 at 12:20am | IP Logged | ||||||||
You just don't know how to read the signals! 3 persons have voted this message useful | |||||||||
| mrwarper Diglot Winner TAC 2012 Senior Member Spain forum_posts.asp?TID=Registered users can see my Skype Name Joined 5038 days ago 1493 posts - 2500 votes Speaks: Spanish*, EnglishC2 Studies: German, Russian, Japanese | Message 23 of 50 22 October 2011 at 12:25am | IP Logged | ||||||||
So that's what you do to them, uh? Well, good to know! ;) 3 persons have voted this message useful | |||||||||
| patuco Diglot Moderator Gibraltar Joined 6827 days ago 3795 posts - 4268 votes Speaks: Spanish, English* Personal Language Map | Message 24 of 50 22 October 2011 at 3:16pm | IP Logged | ||||||||
I was never very good at that with women, let alone an inanimate object.
You mean, you don't? And I thought you were a true language nerd... :) 3 persons have voted this message useful |
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